First of all, I would like to say that I have nothing against the idea that "Livestrong bracelets" are supposed to represent. I, too, support people in their fights against cancer. I, too, believe that people can and should push themselves to triumph over their diseases and go on to win 127 bicycling championships and a string of underage and waif-like girlfriends. Come on. Mary-Kate Olsen?? She could practically be your daughter, Lance.
But anyway. The point here is that the idea is sound. But I think the whole idea of wearing the bracelet is like the idea of putting the yellow "Support Our Troops" ribbon on the side of your car. When you announce to people in a highly visible way that you are against cancer, or you support our troops, you are announcing something that in fact ALL PEOPLE BELIEVE. You might as well have a bracelet or a ribbon announcing that you breathe air. ALL PEOPLE** believe that we should fight cancer AND support our troops. When you put one of those things on, a bracelet or a ribbon or whatever, you imply that you have better priorities or a higher set of moral standards than me, the person who is sans bracelet/sans ribbon.
The other issue is that the wearing of these bracelets has somehow turned into some kind of jackass accessorizing contest. One earnest dude wearing the bracelet under his long-sleeved Patagonia fleece on the way to work - well, that's one thing. But a whole fraternity of dudes wearing layers of these rubber arm cuffs, with hemp bracelets, sideways visors, and "ironically ugly" sunglasses - that's too much. That's pure jackass. Are these guys spending their free time volunteering at the cancer hospital? Are they having car washes to raise money for the Leukemia/Lymphoma Society? Hell no! They are wearing these bracelets for the following reasons:
1. Lance Armstrong is the man, bro!
2. He won the Tour de France with only one ball! Like, 12 times!
3. ONE ball!
4. Balls.
5. I like my own balls.
Plus, the Livestrong bracelet has inspired a whole cottage industry of specialty bracelets for specialty causes. Special jewelry - with a purpose - that you can wear in the shower! Actually, these spin-off bracelets may be the true positive legacy of the Livestrong bracelet campaign. 'Cause I already knew about cancer, and I knew it was bad. But thanks to the rubber-clad lady on the bus next to me, I am now aware that she is, in fact, the World's #1 Mom.
**98% of people. The other 2% we should grind up and feed to the homeless.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
3 comments:
I don’t support the troops!!! When I first started seeing the American flag and yellow support the troops ribbons plastered on the backs of cars I started thinking long and hard about the message and came to the conclusion that I wasn’t going to support the troops. Isn’t “supporting the troops” just a euphemism for supporting the war? That’s how they get’cha. They know, we’re not about to support a war that has absolutely no justification, so they pack their bumpers with purdy ribbons, because you have to support the troops. They volunteered; they’re over their risking their lives every day for “your freedom”, getting body parts blown off and coming back emotionally decimated, and Fuck’em if they want VA benefits, because that will cut into our profits or at least our war budget. So, your tailgate says support the troops? I refuse! I support human beings that were led into a war under false pretense to kill other innocent human beings for greed, power and corruption, but Goddamn It and E pluribus unum I am not supporting troops, or soldiers or terrorists or assassins. I just refuse. Oh, and I’d rather not be Soylent Green for the homeless.
Okay, Tad, I promise I won't grind you up. My human grinding machine is on back order from China anyway.
You make a good point. I support humans, I don't support military activity in Iraq. I support human beings being kind to other humans, and taking responsibility for themselves, and not imposing their beliefs on anyone, and not enslaving anyone, and not persecuting anyone or blowing anyone up. And not wearing Livestrong bracelets.
I'd like to see your comments on the subject of private labeling of public entities -
I'm recommending we open all channels to all brands:
Spanx Museum
Alpo Arena
Underoo Air
Post a Comment