I know, I know. Some people don't have hands, or arms. And those people need to be able to use the phone. But I can tell you - I have seen a lot of people wearing Bluetooth earpieces - and all of those people have had arms and hands.
What phone call on EARTH is so important that you have to have a plastic gadget firmly implanted into your ear AT ALL TIMES, ready to accept that call, hands free, at any moment? These are the only acceptable times to use a Bluetooth earpiece:
1. You're sculpting a patio waterfall out of quick-set cement and you are waiting for a phone call from your ex-girlfriend's lawyer with the results of the paternity test.
2. You're massaging a spice rub onto spareribs for a dinner party and you're waiting to hear back from your doctor about the results from your pregnancy test.
3. You're in the bathroom taking a pregnancy test and you're on hold with the best Chinese take out place in the city.
Honestly, I can not think of any other acceptable reasons. You're waiting for an important job offer, you say? How about keeping your cell phone in your pocket, or on the desk next to you? Oh, you say you need your hands free to type and adjust yourself while conversing? Well, how about plugging a regular earpiece into the phone, and putting that into your ear when the phone rings? Or - wait - maybe you could just use the regular old land line phone that's sitting there on your desk, and you could cradle it on your shoulder! Like they do in old movies from the 80s!
The worst thing about the Bluetooth earpiece is that once they go into an ear, they seem to never come out again. I had a boss once who wore his Bluetooth everywhere. He wore it to my housewarming party, and all my friends asked me who the cyborg was. He wore it to a wake for a co-worker that had just passed. A wake. What phone call do you need to answer while the deceased's brother is up on a stage, strumming an acoustic guitar and crying? Also, he would take phone calls while I was talking to him - without acknowledging that he was switching over to the phone. Those calls went like this:
Me: So I wanted to give you two options, but I think option A is better.
Boss: Hello.
Me: Uh, hello. I am showing you some options.
Boss: Yes.
Me: Yes to option A or option B?
Boss: No, I said the Cabernet.
Me: You're not talking to me, are you?
Boss: Yes.
Basically, if you need to dress up as a complete jackass for some sort of complete jackass costume party, all you need to do is stick a Bluetooth earpiece in your ear. This one's pink - for girls!
Thanks to Kam M. and Steve R. for the suggestion.
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